This may sound like one of those obvious questions.
It was however on rereading Wayne Dyer’s book, Your Sacred Self, that this question resonated within me.In his book he points out that for many of us ‘specialness’ may translate as seeing some as more worthy that others.
I remember when I was much younger getting good grades at school was important for me. I was considered to a good student both in terms of results, and how serious I was about learning – part of this came from who I am and of course part of this came from the expectations of my parents, family members, etc.
Whenever I did well, I sensed that everyone around me was happy. When I got a lower grade on an exam, I had this deep sad feeling that I had disappointed, and in some way was not who everyone thought I was – yes, my self-confidence was definitely shaken in these moments. Just one disapproving look from the teacher was enough for me to shrivel up.
Or perhaps it was a question of ego.
One incident is still clear in my mind. It was in the French class. I was considered to be the teacher’s no. 1 student. I got to choose my French reading books first, and was often asked to help others when I finished my work early. Whenever a test came up, all my friends and the teacher expected me to have the top marks. On this particular day, it was a simple reading out loud exercise where we were to take it in turns to read a few sentences. As it came closer and closer to my time to read, I felt this huge feeling of panic overtake me. When the teacher called my name to read, I burst into tears and asked to be excused to go out of the classroom. The teacher sent one of my friends out to make sure I was okay. After the end of the class, he asked me if there was something serious happening at home or in my life. How to say – no, I just got scared I wouldn’t be as special as you think I am? At that age, I wasn’t even aware of this concept. I just knew that there was a deep underlying fear of nothing being good enough, of not meeting other people’s expectations.
Throughout my earlier adult life, I still had this need to be the best I could be – as seen through the eyes of others. To maintain this ‘special’ status, I would work more, ‘embrace my perfectionism’, and at the same time, make sure I was in the background, not in the forefront, just in case … .
It was only years later that someone asked me why I often choose or was given the role of ‘Deputy’ when they thought I was able to lead or manage a team or project. Looking back on my skills set and the way in which I found it easy to interact and work with others, I realise that it was me all along who had been nourishing this fear of being seen.
It was only when I started studying Science of Mind that I understood that it is always ourselves who are creating everything in our lives.
This label of special is one that is a bit of a misnomer as everyone is special in their own unique way. And if everyone is special, then is anyone special?
What if we see this more as each of us being unique expressions of the Divine?
When I was finally open to this Truth, I began to embrace who I am, to allow myself to express my uniqueness and I felt such a deep sense of freedom. I no longer needed to hold back who I was. I no longer needed other people to like me or appreciate me. I chose to step into my Truth, on my journey that is filled with opportunities to learn, to laugh, to love.
And I am so grateful for this awareness.
Are there any ways you see yourself as special or perhaps in the past you have had this belief? How has this made you feel?
Have you felt more worthy than some others?
If so, how have you seen other people in your life?
Or perhaps you feel it has put you on a pedestal?
After the initial stage, what impact has this had on the way you live your life?
When you see someone with a special gift or skill, how would your perception change if you saw this as someone expressing their uniqueness?
What if you could see everyone in this world as being unique?
What if you could consciously, confidently and completely embrace and express your own uniqueness, how would this feel?
Take a few moments to listen within, and then choose.
As a spiritual alignment coach, Linda Orr Easo helps people to reconnect with who they truly are to create the life they consciously create. Linda is a coach, consultant, trainer, Reiki Master, with over 25 years in leadership experience in large multicultural organisations.
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