The pivotal moment for me was when my then six year old daughter found me passed out from exhaustion in the middle of the floor, that was crushing because my child saw me there so tired that I could not get up and put her to bed.
And I thank God that she was so small and she didn't process that I was too tired to get up. She just saw it as an opportunity to love and minister to mommy. And she got her Disney blanket from her bed and put it on my body, and a pillow and put it under my head, she kissed me on the forehead and said good night mama, and I only had the energy to say good night baby.
I couldn't put my child to bed because I was so into the accolades that you need to get more.
I had twisted up my self identity, my self worth, my self esteem into that. That was what defined me, that I would not say stop.
And so even when my health started failing, when I was run to the ground, it was not until that moment I knew something had to change. And I would love to tell you that things turned around, but that's not true.
And with changes of this magnitude, there has to be a process just as Saul went through Damascus, right? In the experience he was, he was blinded for three days and then someone else had to step in.
Well, for me, it took two years.
And I started working with a performance coach, Rowena Silveira Beck, who is also an ordained Minister. She had me write down everything that I was involved in, and it was seven pages long. And she said we got to get this done. It was seven pages, they were eight and a half by 11 cms, but still, that was crazy. It was not until I saw this on paper that I was absolutely flummoxed.
I could not believe it because when you're in the midst of your life, you're just taking things as they come. Whatever's in front of you at that time, you're dealing with that until something else shiny runs across your path.
And so it wasn't until I wrote it all down and the thing is Rowena's process was different from others because she had me break it down into subtasks. So it wasn't just your a mom. It's everything that's involved in being a mom at that stage of your child's life, because you being a mom, when your child is six is a different ball game than being a mom at 26.
And so I had 12 subtasks under mom alone.
And then I'm a wife and a daughter of two parents who are getting older. And so I had not even begun to scratch the surface of what I was doing professionally at that time, running a company, no, five companies at the same time because I had my law practice, my accounting practice, then the publishing house, which we split into a media company as well, because the magazines were starting to take up the resources from the book publishing and the nonprofit. So that was the companies, and I hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of my community and professional work.
I was serving as president of three distinct organizations at the same time. You know it was way too much, but I thought I was having fun because it looks so great and people are just always saying you're just so awesome. I just love having you around and I fit into that. I fed off that and I have to say this for any of you who are just like, that's crazy. II would never do that... Yes, you would. And let me tell you why... Because we were all raised in the same community of well meaning people, parents, teachers, community leaders, who gave us the same checklist, the same formula.
If you work hard you will make money, you will be successful, and you will live happily ever after. And I call them well meaning because people teach you what they know, the best that they have.
But then you get to a point, and that's where I was, where you have to, you gotta come to Jesus. You have to realise that it's not working here, and it's my life. I was an applause junkie, I was truly addicted to all of that, and that is not me minimizing substance abuse addiction. No, no, no, no, no. This was a real emotional addiction and it took getting anchored in because I am a fifth-generation preacher's kid.
And so God has been in my life, as part of my life, it's not that I did not know or have a relationship with the Divine. It was that I was not adequately connecting, engaging with that power to keep me anchored.
You know, we are taught that we have to prove our worth from the time we enter school, it starts with STARS. You get a gold star, a silver star, a red star, and a green star, depending on your performance. Then that converts into grades, A, B, C, D, F. And then it converts into raises and promotions and job opportunities. And then it's invitations to various organizations that have various levels of prestige and access. So we are conditioned to place our value and worth externally into someone else's hands. And so it takes a lot to get to the place where you take back that power.
And a lot of people are afraid to do it. I understand because I was too, and it wasn't until I did that I realized that I have more now, that I no longer rely on any of those things.
I did not have the emotional intelligence, or the capacity to reach out and ask for the help that I needed. I have a wonderful family support system and great friends. And I have to tell you they said something.
Everybody, my husband, my child in her own way, my parents, my friends, but I could not hear it until there was the manifestation of the breaking down of the barriers by the breaking down of my physical health.
And so I developed stage four endometriosis, which is the uncontrolled growth of uterine cells outside of the uterus and the lining of the womb. For most people, it does not affect them at all they go on to live their lives. They don't even know they have it.
That was not my experience. It had been attached everywhere. By the time the doctors properly diagnosed me, because this is not something that shows up in scans, it shows up in complications with other things. And for me, it was a bowel obstruction. So they opened me up to do the surgery, and it was everywhere. It had reached my lungs.
That's how bad it was. And so they did what they could, and they had to sew me back up, wake me up, and tell me, we weren't able to do everything we needed to do. We're going to have to go back in. But first, we have to put you on a regimen of medicine to burn off as much as we can so that we don't leave you totally gutted.
And one of those medications was actually a cancer drug and it was horrible.
And that was six months of doing that.
And then when they finally were able to do the surgery, they had to remove a lot.
So I had a full hysterectomy, a portion of the back wall of my vagina, you know, it was, it was horrible and it took a long time for me to recover. During that time I realized that things needed to shift. And that was when I started working with Reverend Rowe. And she and I worked together meeting every week for a year. And then the following year, it was every other week. And then I went on to a maintenance as needed kind of plan.
And I am being very graphic and detailed with you because a lot of people think that once you have the epiphany things change immediately. But we are creators. Right. We were made in God's image. That means that we have the same power, and so I had created this life, and therefore there were the natural consequences of actions that still had to play out. So I grew up believing that God was vengeful and angry and would smite my enemies. Even though there are defined parts of the Bible that talk about his love, you know, the sermons that get the hooping and hollering are the ones that talk about, and anybody who messes with you, God's going to get it.
Even though my parents love me, and I grew up knowing that. My siblings love me, I grew up knowing that. My husband and my child love me, and I have had 24 years of experiencing that. But again, when you are conditioned with those stars, for many people, and I'm one of them that does not just stay in the classroom that does not just stay at the job.
When I was introduced to New Thought through Rise Church here in Atlanta, I attended one of the services and Ashley Rowena Silveira Beck is the founder of that church, and I was in love because the thought of the angry, vengeful God just did not resonate with me anymore and had not for a long time because it did not align with what I saw in the world.
Why isn't God getting the people who are hurting these children who are victims of child abuse and molestation?
Why is he allowing those things to happen?
And so I was ready to receive a different and more mature understanding of God, the creator, Divine source, one knowing that we have that within us, that we at all times have authority and control over ourselves in the experience that we are creating.
When enough of us get together and change our consciousness, then the consciousness of the world changes too. And that's a decrease in violence. That's a decrease in hurt and it is an increase in love I understand that my mission is to inspire people and I was tickled and delighted when I did a Human Design mapping session. I could see that it was consistent with where I was. So this is not, I read it and then molded my life to fit it. This was, I read it and this is where things already are and it's beautiful. And so I take that into everything that I do. Inspiration requires me to be fully present and being fully present means that whoever or whatever is in front of me at this moment in time is getting my 100 per cent attention.
So I can't be involved in seven or eight different organizations. I can't be all things to all people, and I'm not trying anymore. And I can even see a difference in my resonance, like my voice. If you listen to any of my speaking and coaching or any programs prior to the change my voice is higher.
And now, you know, it's dropped at least a couple of levels and I sound like an adult. love when people understand that this process is a holistic one. So it's not just a change of who you are personally, and then you put your mask back on and show up as someone else. When I was growing up, that process was called code switching.
And I did that too. And it wasn't until I was very mature, in my early forties, that I understood how confusing that must be to people who might meet me in one area and then meet me somewhere else. And that was also part of my process of integrating me. So then it's not this Lynita and then there's the one that shows up for nonprofit speaking engagements, and then another one that comes here with you.
My superpower is to inspire through living.
My company is Leading Through Living, and my first book was A Guide for Women Seeking Growth Through Leadership, I have done my best to live. that way. At first, it really was for other people to see. Now I understand that it is for me to experience and then to be a light and people to be inspired by it, and when we're talking about inspiration, this is not just for people to follow you blindly. This is actually to Invite inquisitive conversation. This is to fortify and to propel not just yourself, but others, for positive, loving influence.
There are five things that I had to learn to do to get here. And I would like to share them with you quickly.
#The first is I had to learn to focus on people and not processes so that whoever was sitting across from me got my full and undivided attention. It required me to be fully present in this moment because I spent so much of my life planning for the next thing and it served me well when it came to my profession. I did everything I said I wanted to do. CPA attorney, my Doctorate, certifications awards and businesses. Great. But it also meant that there were balls that were dropped, relationships that were damaged, and people who did not always feel that they were important to me. And it was not true, but my actions told them that it was. And so I learned that if this moment right here, right now is not taken care of, then the next moment cannot come. Not that it won't, it can't. Because in this moment if I am not fully engaged with my mental, emotional, physical, and financial well-being, then the next moment will have no foundation, no foothold to form.
#The second thing that I had to do was to learn to leave it all on the field. So once I had done everything that I could in a situation that was well with my soul, that was it. It's okay to look back as far as to see what could have been done better, and differently, and how we could have served in a way that really put forth the person we are, right? But we take the lessons, we take the blessings, and then we leave the mess behind. If we keep looking back in the rearview mirror, we get stuck. And just as you are driving, if you keep doing this and this you're not paying attention to what's coming and you will get in an accident. You will be injured. You will hurt and you might injure and hurt other people. That's not the life we wish to live. It wasn't a life that I wished to live. And so it required self-forgiveness. It required grace for myself and for others to be able to leave things as they were and to move on knowing that in the next experience, I will have that knowledge and wisdom and would utilize it for purpose.
#The third thing was to unstretch myself thin. I was involved in so much. I shared earlier that I had seven pages of roles and responsibilities and had to get that down to two to ensure that we don't ever grow to that again is an ongoing process and one that I employ as a tool to ensure that I don't. Every quarter I review what I'm involved in, the roles and responsibilities that I have, and something has to go. Now I know that sounds harsh, hear me out. The reason that something has to go is that until there is room enough to receive it, the blessings cannot come. God can't put anything in a closed fist and your fist is closed when it is full. So something has to be released so that you can open up your hands for the next thing. We talk about more stuff, we talk about more understanding, we talk about more love. Well, we have to create the capacity for it, and from there we expand and we grow. .
#The next thing is I had to realize that life is for me, not for my husband, not for my daughter, not for my parents. For me, God gave this to me and I can do whatever I want with it. But that means that every experience that comes is also for me, the good and the bad. And so we've all heard that saying every cloud has a silver lining. You are the silver lining, whatever is going on. The hard, the mean, the painful, the anxiety ridden is an opportunity for you to strip out the emotion and to see what am I supposed to learn here and to get the lesson, so it doesn't have to be repeated and taken into your next opportunity, because you will have an opportunity to use what you have learned. But until you get the lesson, you will continue, just as I was, to get the same circumstances. The only thing that changes are the people until you get it. And that is for you to get! That is a blessing for you so that you can expand and grow as a spiritual being having this human experience.
#And then the fifth and last thing was to live a model life. And that model is for yourself. Other people will see it and be inspired by it and they will come and ask you. It is what has happened to me and how I got into this business of intuitive business coaching. I didn't put out a shingle and say, come on, let's do it, people saw the changes in me, even my physical appearance. And as I've shared, in my voice, they've said, What are you doing? and this is what I share. It is a process. It is ongoing. It takes time. But once you anchor in it gets you to a place of peace, joy, and fulfilment. And that is real-life success. And I'm not sharing this with you from a place on a mountain where I've forsaken all my worldly goods and possessions and left my family. No, I am in the thick of it just like you.
Working, loving, serving, and experiencing.
And this is how I can tell you it works.
So employ these tools for your betterment and see the changes. As you live your life on fire and that's it.
That's a wrap folks.
Rev. Dr. Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell, Esq. is the Intuitive Business Coach who leads her clients to live the ultimate successful life full of peace, joy, and fulfillment. She is the bestselling author of six books, the two most recent being the Get Your Money Right in 30 Days and Live Life onFire. www.lynitamitchellblackwell.com
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