Have you ever sat down to focus on what really matters for you? Not
your family, your friends, job, or society – you!
I wonder if you’ve ever really spent much time focussing on this?
Does it matter? You bet! Your values are an intrinsic part of your
make-up, who you are, what drives you unconsciously. Limiting beliefs
are important, but I would suggest your values are even more so.
In no particular order, these are some 40+ that I came up with recently
(this exercise works better if you come up with a list of your own, but
this will get you in the right ball-park):
Connection, happiness, love, autonomy, growth, development, authenticity,
integrity, contribution, health, stamina, vitality, passion,
enthusiasm, excitement, drive, freedom, security, safety, belonging,
legacy, stability, abundance, prosperity, creativity, expression,
independence, gratitude, appreciation, trust, identity, boundaries,
spirituality, empathy, acceptance, learning, strength, success,
honesty, kindness, generosity, humour, empowerment, playfulness,
equality, dignity, diversity, inclusion, service, loyalty, compassion,
honour, justice, fulfilment
Put each of your values on a separate card. Put them in piles of no
more than 10, and turn them upside-down. Using a pendulum or your
version of the Sway muscle test, take a slowing deep breath and ask
Is my topmost value in this pile?
Separate out that card, and ask the same question again of that pile,
till you get a no. Of the cards you’ve separated out, you can now ask
of each card in turn: Is this my topmost value?
and then is this my next topmost value? till you’ve got your choices in order.
Check in with yourself if that feels about right.
Sit with it for a bit, and re-do the questions if it doesn’t, untill it does.
Then ask, Is my next topmost value in this pile? and repeat the
process. Check each pile in turn, till you work your way through and
have, say, your top 10 or 12 values.
How does it feel, looking at them, focussing on them?
What memories does that elicit from childhood
that maybe you’d forgotten about but could actually do with a bit of
re-examination and healing? What events or people made you forget
those values? Is now the right time for you to reclaim them?
Here's why I believe this matters. We know we get our intrinsic self
conditioned out of us by ‘life’. But they are still there, awaiting
expression. As we grow older, and make career and other choices, they
fit who we have grown into bug tot our intrinsic self. Our inner being
is therefore in conflict. And, guess what – when your unconscious has a
conflict, it always wins out, one way or another, sabotaging our
conscious efforts to make changes for a different, better, happier,
wealthier, more spiritual life.
When you consciously bring back your fundamental values into your
approach to choices, where you want your life to unfold, those same
values kick in with a degree of authentic fuel you’ve probably not
experienced since you were a child. Those same values link you to your
expression of your spiritual or higher self, your alignment with your
underlying purpose for this incarnation.
If you uncover any element where others or circumstances have deviated
you from ‘you’, this exercise gives you an opportunity to defuse that,
releasing its potential to continue sabotaging your relationships,
career, fiscal wealth, your health and wellbeing generally.
This is not a ‘done-once and for always’ exercise. You may choose to go
trough it again on a regular basis. And you may find, as I did when I
went through my values again before I sat down to write this, that your
top topmost values change places.
Having elicited your top value, you may choose formulate a daily
reminder, either as an affirmation, an affirmation or ‘access –
consciousness-style question: I am finding more productive ways to live
and express these values every day. What steps can I take today to
express these values in all my interactions with others, in everything
Ido today? How can I best embody these top values for a better impact
on my day, ghat of those around e, and a more aligned future?
Let these ideas be part of your first thoughts of the day. Feel their
impact through your whole being. Observe how your day unfurls with new
impact, so you can feel more gratitude for who you truly be.
By Dr Erica Brown
Dr Erica is based in Christchurch, UK. She is devoted to guiding you to living in alignment with the true you. Do you really know who you are behind the conditioning of family and society? Join Erica in one to one coaching or her masterclasses to make previously unimagined strides both personally and professionally.
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